


Someone to Love

by nioaka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, You Know I Had To Do It To Em, sorry fams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nioaka/pseuds/nioaka
Summary: Harry and Draco never got off to a great start. When Harry attempts suicide and Draco is the one to find him, will their rivalry end and something else shimmer?





	1. What Might Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing any sort of fanfiction :) criticism is welcome in the comments! This is set after the Battle of Hogwarts when they all come back for their 8th year at Hogwarts to finish their schooling.

Rain pounded Harry's window in the Gryffindor dorms relentlessly, keeping the poor boy awake. It didn't make much of a difference, seeing as he couldn't sleep anymore anyways. The war changed him and anyone who wasn't utterly blind could see it. Giving up on sleep, Harry tossed his covers off of him and grabbed his Cloak of Invisibility off of his chair. He made his way out of the dorms and down the Hogwarts hallways. Before he knew it, he found himself in the Slytherin dungeons. 

 

 _'What am I doing in here? If a prefect catches me, I'm done for!'_   He shivered at the cold and pulled his cloak closer to him.

 

He began to turn back around before he felt a hand on his shoulder that pulled the cloak off.

 

"I should've known it was you,  _Potter_ " The last word was spoken with a heavy sneer. Draco Malfoy looked into the younger boy's eyes and softened his gaze. "Wait-" was all he was able to get out before Potter snatched his cloak from Malfoy and ran out of the dungeons. He could feel tears stinging the corners of his eyes, but didn't know why. He didn't know anything anymore after the war and losing most of his friends. He felt more alone than he ever has, even after he watched Sirius die in front of him. 

 

' _I wonder if this is how Malfoy feels?_ ' he sullenly thought to himself. He hated that blonde boy, with his soft golden hair, and swirling blue grey eyes, and the way his mouth turns into a half smirk after every insult he throws at Harry, and how he- ' _Pull yourself together, Harry! You are NOT falling for that boy!_ ' He began to head back to his dorm and took the cloak off his shoulders. Ron looked up at him from a book he was reading and gave him a knowing wink, keeping his sneaking out habits a secret for him. Harry collapsed onto his bed and pondered about what Draco was trying to say to him. Knowing him, it probably wasn't anything good. 

 

Harry woke up a couple hours later when it was time for breakfast. He figured he would ask his friends about what was going on with Malfoy. They would be able to get to the bottom of this with him. Making his way to the Great Hall with Ron, they sat next to Hermione as per usual and Harry's breath hitched when he saw Draco drearily enter the room. He supposes that Draco has never really been a morning person, after all. They began to eat, yet Harry couldn't take his eyes off of Draco across the room. Hermione and Ron stopped talking and stared at Harry in disbelief. Ron even shook his hand in front of Harry's face, and he was still enthralled in Malfoy. 

 

Draco looked over and made eye contact with Harry. He gave a smile, the tiniest of them all, and Harry tore his eyes away and went back to talking to his friends. He figured now was as good a time as any to bring the situation up.

 

"Guys, something might be wrong with Draco. He caught me in the Slytherin hallways yesterday night and seemed like he wanted to tell me something before I ran away, and now he's being... nice!" Harry finished exasperatingly. His friends looked at him with sad expressions on their faces.

 

"You don't think he's actually being nice, do you? He's death eater scum and doesn't deserve someone as nice as you!" Ron said a little too loud. By the time he was done speaking, the entire great hall was silent and Draco was looking at the 3 of them with a pained expression on his face before he left the room. Harry glared at Ron with an expression that said 'We'll discuss this later' before running out after Draco. He quickly examined his surroundings and ran towards the Slytherin dorms. He spotted Draco turning the corner into an abandoned classroom and heard the crying before he reached the door.

 

 Harry came to a stop outside the door and listened in on the other side. He could hear a scratching sound along with heavy sobs coming from the blonde boy. 

 

"I wish I never fucking took the oath. I just want to have friends again, and be loved like Potter and all his friends..." he sobbed to no one in particular. "Potter, I know you're out there so just come in already" he finished as he choked back some more sobs. Harry slowly opened the door and walked into the room with Malfoy.


	2. What Could Have Been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to start the angst train!! The real stuff comes in the next chapter

Draco was curled up into a ball on the floor, his slightly faded dark mark bloody with scratch marks. The poor boy was crying silently on the floor with the occasional sob shudder through his body. Harry had never seen him so defensless before and it hurt him just as bad. Once again, Harry felt himself start to tear up at the thought of his Draco like this. He sat down on the wall by him and started to rub circles on his back to calm the other boy down. After a few minutes, Draco seemed to be crying less and sat up against the wall with Harry. He looked into his eyes, hoping to convey a silent messgage.

 

"P-Please do-don't leave me here alone-e" Draco managed to shakily get out.

 

"Of course I won't, I'm here for you"

 

They sat like that in silence for a few more minutes while Draco calmed down. Draco turned towards Harry and looked up at him, putting his hand on Harry's face. Harry inched his face closer to Draco's and put his hand over the one on his flushed cheek. They closed the small gap between their 2 faces at the same time, a gentle and needing kiss. It spoke the words they were too afraid to say, too scared to think about. The message was clear. They sat like that for a few more moments before breaking apart and looking into eachother's eyes. Their eyes asked if it was ok, for more than that one kiss. Harry squeezed Draco's hand and gave him another kiss, this one more urgent and tender than the first. Draco kissed back with just as much need and want as the other boy.

 

"Harry, I'm so fucking sorry for the war. I tried to save as many as I could without Him knowing, and I just-"

 

"You did what you had to, and I'm glad He didn't kill you."

 

"I saw you in Hagrid's arms dead and I- I just, I couldn't take it anymore."

 

Harry pulled Draco close into an embrace, and held his head in his arms. Footsteps could be heard in the hallway and stopped just in front of the door. Lumos could be seen through the crack at the bottom, and hushed voices whispered vigerously before someone opened the door. The pair looked up into Ron Weasely's burning eyes that looked at them with disgust. He took a step backwards, then another.

 

"I knew you'd pick him, Harry. Just think about it. He's a death eater and tried to kill you. That bastard has terrorized us since we were 11 fucking years old and here you are snogging in a closet!"

 

"Ron you need to calm down!" Hermione grabbed his shoulder to lead him out of the room, but he pulled out of her grasp and pointed a finger at Malfoy.

 

"Stay the fuck away from Harry if you know what's good for you! You're worth nothing and I hope you know it!"

 

"Ron, it isn't like that at all! He's a good guy! Stop being such a prat and listen to me!" Harry got up and ran after Ron to convince him of the good in Malfoy while the others ran after the 2 of them, leaving Draco alone in the cloest. He got up, dusted his robes off, and walked out of the room. He walked in a daze until he reached the doors of the school and walked right out of them. He kept walking until he reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest by Hagrid's hut before he realized where he was. Pushing the sleeve of his robes up, he looked at his dark mark before walking into the forest with his wand drawn.


	3. What Will Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning angst alert!!!! It only gets better from here :)

Harry grabbed Ron's shoulder and pulled him backwards. How hard is it going to be to get him to listen? Ron glared at Harry and tried to pull away, although Harry was stronger and they both knew it. 

 

"What the fuck do you want with me, Harry?"

 

"I want you to be nice to Draco and accept us! How much is that to ask of you, my best mate?"

 

"That death eater needs to join Voldemort in whatever comes after death and you know it."

 

"I don't think like that at all and I never will. Ron, can you please just be happy for me for once in our _goddamn lives_!" the last part came out as a yell as Harry felt tears streak down his cheeks. 

 

"Maybe you were never really my friend at all, Harry. Go jump from the astronomy tower with your precious Malfoy already." 

 

And with that, Ron pulled away from him and walked away in the opposite direction without looking back at his ex best friend. Harry needed to find Draco, and fast. He went back into the classroom to find him but Draco wasn't in there. 

 

' _Draco left me... he left me all alone with Ron... how could he do this?_ ' Harry stumbled through the doorway again and sprinted out of the school. He knew Ron was right, and there was nothing left for Harry to do. He tripped on roots and batted leaves out of his face as he ran through the forest. He could feel the air getting colder the farther in he ran and light seemed to avoid this place as much as it could. Once more he tripped, this time falling to the ground and scraping his hands and knees on the hard ground below. Harry stayed there for a few minutes to catch his breath and regain his surroundings. He has no idea where he was, and that made him feel even more lost inside. Everyone he had loved left him too soon. His parents, his friends, his lover... even Snape who he had begrudgingly learned to love had died in the war. 

 

Harry slowly sat up and pulled his wand out. The cool, grained wood felt wonders in his hand. He put the tip of his wand to his left wrist and closed his eyes. He only knows a single spell that'll make him happy.

 

' _Draco, Hermione, Ron, Mom, Dad, Hagrid, Snape, Dumbledore, everybody... I'm sorry I wasn't the friend, son, and student you wanted me to be. I never wanted to be a martyr in a war and yet I won it anyways. People say I lived twice but I've never felt more dead in my entire life. I just wish I had a little more time to change things for the better. Maybe I'll get to see you all again soon, this time truly happy inside and out. I love each and every single one of you and I wish I didn't mess up so bad._ ' he drew a shaky breath before continuing. 

 

He put the tip of his wand to his heart.

 

"I'm sorry, Draco. I love you." he drew in one last breath, the one that he would say the spell with.

 

" _Sectumsempra_ "

 

\---

 

Draco moved his way through the forest with Lumos on the tip of his wand for light. He had finally calmed down from the fight in the hallway with Ron and wanted to thank Harry for standing up for him more than anyone else had in his life. The  slightly younger boy looked in the light of the torches on the wall as he was raging with his passion for Draco made the boy blush bright and red, even as he was alone in the Forbidden Forest. He shook his head to calm himself down once more. That boy would be the death of him one day, wouldn't he? Draco gave a light chuckle to himself. He quickly stopped as he heard someone talking in the forest. This wasn't right. This part of the forest is abandoned territory and the voice sounded awfully... familiar. 

 

He headed in the general direction of the voice, panic welling up in his stomach and throat as he clenched his wand even tighter. This had to be some mind trick, a hex, or just his imagination. He began to walk even faster, breaking out into a light jog. He could hear the voice clearer now through the remaining trees between the 2 of them. 

 

"I'm sorry, Draco. I love you. Sectumsempra" and then a thud. Draco made it to where Harry was just as the a rolled off his tongue and the spell had been cast. A scream ripped through Draco, more angry and sad and forceful than one he has ever screamed before.

 

"NO, POTTER! I REFUSE TO LOSE YOU AGAIN AFTER YOU DIED IN THE WAR!" Draco was crying heavily, unable to see the damage through his tears. He needed the countercurse, but what was it? He grabbed Harry in his arms and ran out of the forest and back into Hogwarts as fast as he could, casting speed charms on himself along the way. He ran straight into Ron and Hermione, and ran into the Nurse's office right as the other 2 students followed closely behind. 


End file.
